Behind him, we could see the table had been damaged sometime while we were gone.  Apparently, he had taken a paper plate and stabbed it with a fork over and over and gouged the table up pretty badly.

Husband was stunned.  He had just refinished that table two months ago and son has just hacked it up.

Husband says he needs to talk to me outside for a few minutes so we go talk.

We see how proud son is.  We are pleased he is proud of his good deed and don’t want to steal that good feeling away from him.  At the same time, son has been quite rough on this table several times now.  It has marker on it that bled through some paper he was writing on.  Also, he sawed up the edge of the table with a knife… I think just to see what it was like to saw something.  Now we have the gouges.

So, talking through things we decide we can deal with son.

We call son out and sit him on my knee.  We tell him how proud we are that he saw a chance to give service and that he gave it when he picked up the trash.  We told him we wished we could we didn’t have to talk about anything else but we did need to for a minute and then we very gently reminded him that Dad had worked really hard on that table and that we need to be careful with the things we value.

We told him that we knew he didn’t mean to be destructive with the table and that we weren’t angry.  We just needed him to think through his actions and to please use a clipboard when he is doing things on the table.

Then husband and I talked to daughter who was watching her brother while we were gone and reminded her of the great trust we were placing in her to watch over her brother and our home while we are gone and that she has some accountability in the choices that are made in the home until we get back.

All in all, I think we handled it VERY calmly and lovingly.

Afterwards, husband and I talked for a long time questioning our success as parents.

Are we giving our kids enough structure.  We decided no.

Are we giving our kids enough discipline.  We weren’t sure.

Are we giving our kids enough love.  We thought we were.

Are we giving our kids enough guidance.  We hoped so.

We just didn’t know for sure.

Did we handle it right? Should we have been more severe?  Sigh.  I wish I knew.

I wish I knew.

I just returned from attending his funeral in Salt Lake City.

He was a good man. 

I wish I had known him better.  My gypsy life comes with a high price and that is getting to spend time with family.

Being home with my family really made me realize how much I wish I lived near them.  It also made my home here in KS feel so supremely temporary.  Like a “holding pattern” more than a home.  I am sure it isn’t that way for my husband since we live near his family… but for me… it is just limbo until one day I can live in UT.

It also made me realize how much better I need to be with my other Grandma and Grandpa.  I need to treasure them while I still have them.

Funerals sure put life in perspective.

What a huge relief!!  I was so happy afterwards I just sat in the “X” (my Ford Expedition) and let the “happy, happy, joy, joy” settle all over me!

Packages mailed… what a good feeling! 

Yes, we did it… we got the Christmas tree up tonight!!

We didn’t decorate it yet, that is for tomorrow, we just set it up and fluffed it and plugged it in as we listened to Mannheim Steamroller.  The one that starts with “Deck the Halls”… it is my FAVORITE Christmas music.

Although, I am really digging Eclipse’s “Three Kings”… Nice!!

But I digress…

So, we got the Christmas tree up, turned it on, turned out all the lights in the home, and sipped hot cocoa as we discussed our thoughts on our Christmas plans.

Hopefully we will do at least two service projects of some sort, a Christmas cookie baking night, a graham-cracker gingerbread homes night, and some caroling.  Need to get it all mapped out on a calendar.

We really took advantage of “Black Friday” and got a large percentage of our Christmas shopping for the kids done, so we are ahead of the game for now.

I love Christmas!!

 LOVED Flushed Away.  So fun!

 LOATHED Happy Feet.  So… ugh… overly preachy, too crazy plot twists, and just couldn’t wait for it to be over.  I LOVED the singing and dancing… HATED everything else.

And this is from someone who hates VERY FEW movies.

So, you can keep Mumble HappyFeet… and send in “Milificent Bystander and the Slugs”! (WBAGNFARB!)

I am such a baby I couldn’t even stand to look at her poor toe!  It isn’t the blood… it is the grossness of the damage to the toe!  I am terrible about pain and grossness!!  It is a good thing I didn’t become a doctor, I would NEVER make it!

She was so brave though as the doctors did their stuff.  If you knew her and how brave she was, you would be SO proud of her!

If you are family or a dear friend, you can see the halloween pics at Ringo! The kids look GREAT!